If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
