Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
