I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
