Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
