i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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