We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
