oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
