I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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