Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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