Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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