Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize