so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
