Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
