Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
