Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
