Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
