But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize