i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
