My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
