Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Terrible idea I love it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
