Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
