You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
