next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
