East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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