Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Come on in and take your pants off
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