Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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