I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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