Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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