And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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