I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
