That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
