I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
