I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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