Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
