well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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