i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
