I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i will never coherently bang her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
