I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
