I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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