she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
