I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love you. Go after that dick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
