so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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