I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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