I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
