just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
