That's when you crack a 10am beer
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
