i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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