Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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