Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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