Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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