tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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