Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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