I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
