Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
