If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found your dick twin last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
