Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize