In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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