His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude. I can hear the air.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
