you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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