there's paper in my vomit.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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