Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
