from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
