At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
