Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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